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Profile
An egg that's gonna grow older every Valentines Day :) Loves ♥ Ballet ♥ Dancing ♥ Piano ♥ Chatting with friends ♥ Cute stuff! XD ♥ CARTOONS! ♥ Forensic stuff! THEY'RE SO COOL! ♥ That person in my heart! Wishes ♥ Olevels 10 points and below! ♥ Friends to be happy! ♥ World NOT to end! ♥ WORLD PEACE ♥ Love Tagboard
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♥ Esmonde ♥♥ Kay Chyn ♥ ♥ Yi Jie ♥ ♥ Esther ♥ ♥ Joyce ♥ ♥ Jasmine ♥ ♥ Zi Hui ♥ Archives
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Where I belong
Today's Singapore's birthday yay! As much as I may not seem very patriotic or anything, I am truly happy and thankful to be able to spend my life here in this beautiful city. As I grow older with Singapore, I begin to feel more for this country and it's really amazing to see how everything has changed over the years. Sure there's a lot of things that we Singaporeans may not be too happy of, like how students really dislike the education system for being so stressful, but we have to admit that Singapore is really a beautiful country and being able to rise from nothing to where we are today is truly remarkable. LKY you the man! :)Today I also finally went to church again after a long time because I've been busy or parents want me stay home for like the past few weeks. And coincidentally, what I took away from today's church session is along the lines of where I (we) belong. As said by our leader, church isn't a country club where we go and dress nicely and ask each other oh how has your week been and then be merry and all, church is more like an emergency room where we all need help in our life and we come here to seek it from Him, from our friends. We tell our church friends the struggles we had the past week and ask for more people to struggle with us so that we would know that we're not alone. As we prayed, we prayed for the church to be more of a open place, where everyone could talk about anything at all and that there is no forbidden topic of any sort or judgement. Church has always been a place I always look forward to go to, I guess it's because it's really where I feel like I belong, where I can just be myself and there's really nothing I have to worry about. I dunno, I guess sometimes in school, I may be with my friends, my classmates, but I feel lonely. Even at home. The past week or so had been quite overwhelming in the sense that I had a lot to think about. Studies, friends, family, my future, and sometimes I just feel like I'm all alone in this. (yes I've been crying a lot the past days sigh) But being in church today, just praying and talking to God so much, I realised that I'm not alone. As much as I feel like I am, I just have to convince myself that I'm not. A question that really got me thinking also was - am I willing to give up my own plan for God's plan? Even as I answer this question, I struggle to say yes because I know that there are certain things in life that I really want but to God, it may not be what I need. Everyday, or almost everyday, I yearn to have that friendship back but maybe God just thinks I don't need it, that I'm better off without it. Some things are easier to let go than others, and I just pray that I continue to find the strength to follow the path in my life that is laid out for me. When I tell my friends about how I feel, they tell me that God would not put me through pain that I cannot take and wow, God's really pushing me to my limit because I've been feeling a lot of pain these days hahaha!
But I guess I just got to continue believing and trusting in God, that what He has in store for me is gonna be a lot better than what I'm going through right now.
Maybe one day I'll stop being afraid, and maybe, just maybe, I'll look into your eyes and smile.
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